Billie's Secret
by Seahorse8
Summary: A short story about the twins. Toni and Billie have always told each other everything, but for once Billie has a secret of her own, something she can't even tell her sister. Can Toni find out what's wrong with her?
1. Chapter 1

** I'm not completely sure what's going to happen in this story yet, but I wanted to write something about Toni and Billie, so I thought I'd just start and decide what happens as I go along. I won't have much time to update, as I've got exams this month, but I'll just update when I can.**

* * *

Toni POV

"What's wrong with you, Billie?" I asked my sister. Billie had been acting strangely all day; nothing noticeable, but I knew my twin well enough to know that something wasn't right.

Billie wasn't giving anything away, though.

"I'm fine," she snapped at me. "Now can you just leave me alone?"

"Okay," I shrugged, bewildered. It was definitely not like Billie to get irritated like that; it was usually me who got annoyed. Billie and I were pretty similar in personality, but there were some subtle differences; Billie was slightly quieter than me.

"Right, well," I said, trying to distract her. "Do you think we should go?"

"Where?"

"Haven't you been listening to anything I said? The cinema, Billie! Floss is going to see the new Disney film tomorrow with Harry and Finn, and she was asking if we wanted to go with them."

"Oh, right." Billie tried to pay attention to what I was saying. "Um…"

"I said we'd go with them," I interrupted. "But we don't have to." I'd assumed that Billie would want to go; May-Li always bought us popcorn, which was Billie's favourite food. Now, though, after the way Billie had been all day, I wasn't sure.

"So." I asked, after a pause in which Billie hadn't replied. "Do you want to or not?"

"Uh, yeah," Billie said vaguely, but I could tell that she still wasn't really listening. I sighed.

"What is up with you today, Billie? You've been in a mood for the whole day. If there's something wrong, why don't you just tell me?"

"I can't," Billie muttered.

"Why not?" I was annoyed now. "We always tell each other everything. What's so bad that you can't tell me?"

"Nothing!" Billie insisted. "I'm fine; now can we please change the subject?"

"Whatever," I said. "It's you who keeps being moody. So, what about the film?"

"Yeah, it sounds good, I suppose. I liked the look of the trailer, anyway."

"Let's go and tell May-Li we're going, then." I said. I took one last look at Billie; she still looked upset about something, but I decided to leave it. Hopefully she'd tell me what was up later.

As we went through the living room, Floss came up.

"Do you two have matching clothes or something you could wear tomorrow?" she demanded.

"Huh? What are you talking about?" I was used to Floss's full-on ways; hanging out with her was never boring as she always had some sort of crazy idea. I liked that about her, and it was the reason why even though she was only seven, she was one of my best friends at the dumping ground. But this time, I had no idea what she was on about.

"Why would we want to wear matching clothes?" Billie asked her.

"Well," Floss grinned mischievously. "I've got this idea, for making money…"

"Right," I said, slightly suspicious.

"Well, you know my dancing? I thought I could busk again, like I did at the open day."

"What open day?" asked Billie.

Oh, you know, the one at the dumping ground, for people who wanted to foster one of us. It was a few weeks before you came."

"Oh, yeah," I said. "Mo told me about that. Someone stole a load of wallets, didn't they?"

"Yeah, but anyway, I made loads of money that time. So I was thinking, I could do it again, in town. Only you and Billie can help me this time. We can sneak away tomorrow, when we go to the cinema."

"I suppose so," I said, though I wasn't quite sure what she was on about. Knowing Floss, though, it would be good fun, so we might as well help her. "Billie and I can't dance, though."

"That's why I want you to wear matching outfits!" Floss told me. "Everyone finds twins cute, right? So if you flaunt it, nobody will be able to resist you two. We'll make loads of money."

"Okay, then, we might as well try your plan," I said. "But there's no way me and Billie are wearing matching dresses." Luckily, people could usually tell us apart as I had a slightly rounder face than Billie, but still, wearing the same clothes would be way embarrassing.

"Is that all right with you?" I asked Billie; she was still being quiet.

"Yeah," she muttered.

"Are you sure?" I clarified. "Billie?"

"Yeah, I am, okay?" Billie suddenly snapped. "Can you just shut up? Stop asking what's wrong with me! You don't know anything! Just _leave me alon__e_!"

I stared, speechless, as she ran off.

"What's wrong with her today?" Floss asked me.

"I don't know." I told her. "I really don't." Billie had never been like this before; we always knew everything about each other. Sometimes it was like we were the same person; that's what was good about having a twin.

Only now, she wasn't telling me what was wrong. I couldn't believe she'd spoken to me like that, told me to leave her alone. Something must be really wrong with her. And for once, I didn't know how to help her.

Somehow, I had to find out what was the matter with Billie.


	2. Chapter 2

**Billie**

I went to my room and grabbed my phone; at first I just played around on it, but after a few minutes I found myself going back to the text messages. I couldn't help it - no matter how awful it was, how much I dreaded them, somehow I had to read them again and again.

I hadn't even had my phone long; phones weren't allowed at my last foster home. But when me and Toni came to the dumping ground, Mike gave me and Toni one each. He said it was so we could phone him, or anyone there, when we needed. They weren't very good phones, anyway - Carmen told me that the council didn't give care homes much money for things like that, so I suppose Mike could only afford to buy out-of-date ones for me and Toni. But still, it was better than having no phone at all, so we'd been over the moon at the time. Now, though, I wasn't so sure.

Why on earth had I made that phone call? I'd found the number by chance, when I'd been on the internet, and I'd suddenly had the urge to make the call; I'd felt like I needed to talk. I'd never have guessed that it would be such a terrible mistake.

And now the texts just wouldn't stop, whatever I did. I'd tried ignoring them, replying, asking for them to stop - everything. But they kept on coming. Not too often; several times a week, sometimes every day, sometimes hardly at all. That's what made it worse; I never knew when they were coming.

I'd thought about asking one of the older kids to help me change my number, of course. But I couldn't bring myself to. Though I dreaded the texts, I didn't want to miss them either, in case they said something important. However much I hated them, I had to read every single one.

I just didn't know what to do. I'd never had to face a problem like this by myself before; I'd always had Toni. She'd know what to do now, I was sure. But for the first time, I was on my own. I just couldn't tell her what was happening. She'd hate me forever if she knew what I'd done, how stupid I'd been. We'd tried so hard to move on, to get away from everything. But now I'd brought it all back, with one phone call, one stupid mistake. And I couldn't undo it.

I'd been waiting for that final text, the one that would change everything, that would end all the months of happiness we'd spent at the dumping ground. And earlier that day, it had finally come.

* * *

**Toni**

"Wait, so what do you want me and Billie to do tomorrow?" I asked Floss.

"Well, you need to help me distract May-Li first," she said. "I've planned it all. Billie and I will pretend we need the toilet, then while we're gone, Finn's going to pretend to fall over and tell May-Li he's hurt his leg. After that, you tell May-Li that Billie and I have disappeared, and suggest you split up to look for us. Then Harry drops his drink all over the floor, and while he distracts May-Li, you sneak out to join us."

"That sounds quite complicated," I said. "Are you sure it'll work?"

"Of course! What could possibly go wrong? Anyway, after that, we go into town, and do our dance routine."

"Dance routine?"

"Yeah! I've got it all planned. I'll teach it to you and Billie later, okay?"

"Um, okay..." I muttered. I was starting to regret agreeing to go along with Floss's plan, but there was no way she'd let us back out now.

* * *

**Billie**

"Billie? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," I called out, opening the door to Harry. "What's up?"

"I just wanted to check you were okay. You sounded like you were crying." he stared at me.

"No, no, I was just... watching something on youtube," I lied, embarrassed. "Like I said, I'm fine."

"Are you sure?" Harry asked, concerned. "You don't look it."

"Yeah, well. Look, Harry?" I asked, suddenly thinking. "Um, say if someone asks you to do something, but you know it's a bad idea? What would you do?"

"Is this about Floss's plan?" Harry asked. "I know she can be pretty fierce, but if you don't want to go along with it, you should tell her."

"No, it's not Floss." I told him. "It's... something personal. I can't really tell you."

"Well, if it's something you don't want to do, then tell the person," Harry said. "You can always say no."

"Not this time," I muttered. "They won't let me."

"What do you mean?" Harry looked even more concerned now. "Billie, is someone bullying you?"

"No..." I said, quickly. "Look, it's nothing."

"Well, you look pretty upset about it," Harry said. "Maybe you should speak to May-Li if it's worrying you? Or Toni? I'll go with you if you want."

"I can't." I said. "I suppose I'll have to sort it out by myself. But, Harry, promise me one thing. Please can you not tell Toni about this?"

Harry looked surprised, but he nodded.

"Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?" he asked. "It might make you feel better, and I won't tell anyone."

"Well..." I thought about it. Harry was pretty good at keeping secrets, and I couldn't bear to keep it to myself. Maybe he was right, and talking would help.

"Okay," I said, closing the door. "I'll tell you."


	3. Chapter 3

"So who's been bothering you?" Harry asked. "What's been happening?"

I took a deep breath, then decided to just go ahead and tell him. I'd said I would; I couldn't back out now, or surely he'd tell Toni.

"Look, it's these text messages," I started. "I keep getting them, and I don't want them, but I can't make them stop; they're horrible."

I was gabbling, and Harry probably still didn't know what I was on about, but I was pretty hysterical by that point. I'd kept everything bottled up so long that now it was all coming out in a mad rush.

"And now everything's gone wrong," I continued, sobbing. "And I've let Toni down, and he wants me to meet him, tomorrow, and if I don't he'll come and get us and I'm so scared, and -"

"Wait, stop," Harry interrupted. "Who's been sending you the messages?"

I took another deep breath, and looked down. Maybe I shouldn't be saying anything after all; but I couldn't stop now.

"It's our dad," I told him.

"Your dad?" Harry repeated, staring at me. Neither me or Toni had ever really spoken about our past much; we weren't secretive about it or anything, but we wouldn't just talk about it unless it was important or we got asked directly.

"Yeah," I nodded. "My dad."

"Wait, so why has he been texting you?" asked Harry. "What's he been saying?"

"It's sort of complicated," I tried to say how it was. "Toni and I haven't seen him since we went into care, two years ago. He used to scare us so much. He'd get angry sometimes, really angry. Not because he was drunk or anything - that would have been bad enough, but he knew exactly what he was doing. He was just evil. And he was worse with Toni. I'm not sure why, but I didn't get to him as much; maybe cos I was quieter. Dad used to lock her in the cellar if she'd done the slightest thing wrong, and he was always saying how she was horrible, a waste of space..."

I stopped, trying to think back. Why had dad hated Toni so much? Maybe it was cos she reminded him of mum. Toni and I were so similar, though; it still didn't make sense why he'd like one of us but not the other. Thinking back, though, I realised that maybe we hadn't always been so similar. Everything we'd been through had brought me and Toni closer together, but the way dad had treated Toni had also made her quieter, while I'd become more confident. I supposed it had levelled us out.

"Your dad sounds horrible." Harry looked shocked.

"He could be, sometimes," I agreed. "But he wasn't always. Sometimes he could be lovely, just friendly and funny like dads should be. And no matter how mean he'd been, he always managed to make us think that he was sorry, and it had been our fault. He knew just how to make us trust him. And often he was so kind to us. He got Toni a pet rabbit years ago, and he used to take us out on trips, to the cinema, or shopping. And he was nicer to me than he was to Toni. So I started to think I'd remembered him wrongly. And after I came to the dumping ground, I started to wonder sometimes if he'd really been that bad. I mean, he was my dad. Maybe he deserved another chance."

"But he sounds really mean," Harry argued. "What about what he did to Toni?"

"I know," I told him. "But I got thinking, how he only started being mean after mum left. He had to bring us up, all on his own, and it wasn't really his fault that he sometimes got stressed. And I just remembered how lovely he could be, and I missed him. So I looked him up on the internet, and I found his phone number on his Facebook account. I just thought I'd text him, and tell him how Toni and I were doing. I didn't think it would do any harm."

"So what happened?" Harry asked.

"Well, he wrote back. He was nice at the beginning, but after about a week he started going on about how bad social services were, for taking us away. And he said that it was all Toni's fault, and that we wouldn't have got taken away if she hadn't spread lies about him. Which is rubbish; Toni only told her best friend some things. But she told her mum, and they got involved... anyway, dad was really angry about that. So in the text messages, he started going on about how they were wrong. And that I should run away with him."

"Wait, what?" Harry interrupted. "He wants you to go back to live with him? After the way he treated you?"

"Yeah." I nodded. "And I did text back, and say that I wasn't sure if I wanted to yet. But he kept asking why. So I had to say that I was happy here, happier then I'd been with him. And that's when he got angry. He started saying that he was going to come and get me, and that I didn't have a choice."

"Yeah, but you can still say no, right?" Harry said. "I mean, he can't force you."

"He can, though," I sobbed. "I don't know how to say no. I'm scared of him."

I thought about how angry dad got, how mean he could be. He'd never even done anything that bad to me, but he still managed to scare me, even now.

"He kept texting me, nearly every day," I told Harry. "He said he'd tell me when he was going to get me. And this morning he sent me another message. He said he's coming tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" Harry repeated. "What are you going to do?"

"That's just it, I don't know," I said. "But, Harry, I do sort of want to go. I mean, after everything that's happened, he's still my dad. So maybe I should go to live with him. It might be different, this time."

"Yeah, but..." Harry looked doubtful.

"Look, Harry, I still love him," I said. "Even after everything. I might be happy, with him."

"So are you going to go?" he asked.

I thought about it again. Dad could be so unpredictable, but still... I just didn't know what I wanted, and how I could get out of it if I wanted to stay at the dumping ground. It was the first time I'd had to make my own choice, and I didn't know how I could do the right thing.

"I don't know what to do," I muttered. "The thing is, dad says I have to go without Toni. He only wants me."


End file.
